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HOSTING A RELIGIOUS CEREMONYReserve your church as soon as possible
Do not be surprised if your first choice for a wedding date is changed. Some
churches have waiting lists up to two years in length. If you absolutely have to be married in your church on a specific day, make your reservations well in advance, and plan on a long engagement.
Meet with your officiant
It is rare to see
both the bride and groom as members of the church they wish to be married in. If you fall into this category, then consider yourself lucky. It is more common to see either the bride or the groom as a member
and the fiancee as a non member. It is also possible to see two people wishing to marry in a church where neither the bride nor the groom are members. Regardless of your membership status, it is important to
see your officiate in order for him or her to agree to marry you.
Your officiant will take this time to counsel with you, and discuss whether or not you and your fiancee are ready for this type of
commitment. At this time you might find out that in order to be married in that church, you must have some premarital counseling. During your counseling, you will be presented with a number of difficult
questions that you should ask yourself and your fiancee. You will also learn a little more about your fiancee. Premarital counseling helps you and your fiancee establish open communication. You will learn
how to resolve situations in a positive manner, and how to always put your marriage first.
Church policies
Most churches have some policies concerning the ceremonies they conduct. Make sure that you understand these policies before you book
your church. It is important that you know about any dress codes. Your church may have restrictions on dress and music, and it may also be necessary to hire their wedding coordinator and organist if they
have one. You will probably have to pay a fee to reserve your church and to use their services.
Some church officiants will agree to hold the service outdoors. You may end up having the service on the
church grounds or you may be able to have the ceremony at a favorite outside spot. You will still be expected to go through counseling, and you may also be asked to make some sort of payment to the church.
If your officiant will preside an outdoor ceremony, you are lucky. Some officiants will not perform a ceremony unless it is within the confines of their church. Back To Top HOSTING A NON-RELIGIOUS CEREMONY If you choose not to have a religious ceremony, you
have a lot to consider. You must first decide if you want your ceremony inside or outside.
Outside Locations
Although outside ceremonies are beautiful, there is an element of risk involved: Weather! Unfortunately it is not possible to
predict the weather for your specific day months in advance. It would be wise to have an indoor location available if the weather turns out to be poor. Regardless of whether you plan to have an indoor or
outdoor ceremony, it is important to reserve your location as soon as possible. Some ideas for possible outdoor ceremonies include:
- Mansions ( contact the owner )
- City Parks ( contact the director of Parks and Recreation for your community )
- Fairgrounds ( contact the Fairgrounds Director )
- Orchards ( contact the owner )
- Ranches (contact the owner )
Inside Locations
If you choose to hold your ceremony indoors, shop wisely. Many locations have specific rules that must be adhered to. Time schedules can be strictly enforced,
especially during the busy wedding season (May through August). Some locations will set up and break down for you, while others will not. Make sure you understand what will be expected of you. Some ideas for
indoor locations include:
- Churches
- Hotels
- Restaurants
- Private Clubs
- College Campuses ( banquette rooms)
Meeting With Your Officiant
Regardless of whether you choose an indoor or outdoor ceremony, meet with your officiant as soon as possible. Your interview probably will not be as in depth
as it would be for a religious officiant, but it is important to meet and discuss the type of service you want. Many Judges and Justice of the Peace's have a number of different ceremony choices. You will be
able to decide what you want said and what you will say. You can also determine how long your ceremony will be. Be sure to reserve your site as soon as possible (at least six months in advance).
Other Things to Consider
Make sure the
location you choose has enough parking for everyone in your party. If you have invited people from out of town provide a map from the airport to their hotel to the ceremony to the reception and back to the
hotel. If your wedding falls on a weekend consider providing a list of activities that your guests can enjoy while in town. You could point out your local zoo, amusement park, swimming pool, museum etc. Make
your wedding weekend a mini-vacation for your guests. Back To Top
RECEPTION SITEKnow Your Budget and Your Contact
A good 40 percent of your total wedding budget should go into your
reception. You can expect to pay between $500 and $4000 for your reception location. This price does not include the fees for a caterer which can run you another $500 to $1500. When you decide on your
reception site, keep in mind the same questions you had for your ceremony site. It is also very important to develop a relationship with your contact person. Communication is much better if you and your
contact share some common ground.
Catering
Some locations provide their own catering, but others do not. If your location doesn't provide catering, make sure they work well with the caterer of your choice.
Establish open lines of communication and clearly understand who is responsible for the set up and clean up. If you are responsible for the clean up, make sure you know what is expected of you. Do you have
to scrub tables and mop floors, or are you simply required to make sure that everything is picked up. If you aren't responsible for the clean up, find out if there is an extra fee for their staff to clean up.
Tables and Chairs
Not all
reception site provide tables and chairs. Imagine how you would feel if you showed up for your reception and there was nothing but empty space and a wedding cake on the floor. You may also be charged an
additional fee for plates, glasses, and flatware. Make sure you know where all of the expenses are coming from. Do not be afraid to ask questions. What seems like common sense to you, may not be common sense
for your location. If your location does not provide the necessities for a reception, they should at least have some recommendations on where you can rent what you need.
Specifics
Take a walk around the location you choose. Ask for a
specific number of guests that your location can accommodate. Is there an extra fee for additional guests? Ask about power supply for your entertainment, and discuss issues of volume control, (Who has the
final say as to how loud the music can be ). It is appropriate for you to introduce your entertainment contact to the reception contact so that they may be able to reach an understand without you being in
the middle. See if it is possible to set up the reception the night before the wedding. This makes the morning of the wedding much less stressful. Finally, make sure you know when everything needs to be
broken down, and cleaned up. Back To Top |
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Wedding Reception Why Have a Wedding Reception?
To eat, drink and be merry. To celebrate the coming together of two
people. Actually, marriages throughout the ages have been celebrated with feasting. However, in some cultures, even till today, the new wife does not attend the feast, or may hold a separate smaller
event with other womenfolk. Yam Seng!
The first recorded "toast" was given at a feast in 450A.D. by a Saxony noblewoman, Rowena, who addressed the British King Vortigern with a simple
"Lord King, be of health". Apparently the King was so touched (and drunk!) that he married Rowena the same evening. From that time, toasting the health and happiness of a couple became common practice.
So the next time you're shouting "yam seng", spare a thought for the lady Rowena! Why "bottoms up?" Well, etiquette demands that a proper toast should have the toaster completely draining the glass. But do
remember that when you drink, don't drive.
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